Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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