the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
