About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
