Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
