She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
