Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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