So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
