walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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