we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
