So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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