before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize