He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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