Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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