so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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