Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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