Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i think i have two assholes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
