I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
