There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
