I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
