get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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