so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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