By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Green mimosas i think yes
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
