oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
is wine microwaveable?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
