She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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