A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
