It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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