you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
