I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
