It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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