weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
