Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
