So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
