Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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