Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
