my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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