Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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