i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
