I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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