I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
