he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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