every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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