Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
