2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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