my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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