It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
