Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
