thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
