Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
