His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
