dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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