Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
