she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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