I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
