Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
