come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
