Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
