Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
