You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
