What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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