So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
