I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize